Dealing with a loss

March 1st, 2019

Recently I have loss a love one and it has been hard to deal with. That love one was my grandma. I would visit my grandma every week to take care of her and she was fine for so long the only problem was that she wasn’t walking. She still had spunk and a lot of confidence. All of that sadly changed after we celebrated her birthday in September. After that it was like one thing after another. It was hard to see her but I still had hope that she would get better. There was a lot of ups and downs when I would visit because one day she was able to stand the next day the nurse says that she can’t be on her feet anymore or like she will talk to me and remembers who I am and then the next time she would think I’m a lady trying to take away her husband from her. It was like an emotional roller coaster.

On her last days she was always sleeping and she wasn’t eating and the day my brother went to visit her she wasn’t responsive and he called everyone when the nurses was trying to stabilized her. I was heading to work when I got the call and I just went straight there. When I arrived my grandma was a live and with her was my brother and a family friend who is like family. She was talking a lot and saying that she loved us and more of the family came to be with grandma because the nurse and my brother called them. We all thought she was going to be fine now so hours later everyone left and went home or went to work etc. We all thought she would still be a live months from now but sadly that didn’t happen.

I was at a friends house for game night when I got a call from my brother saying that grandma passed away. I was in shock but was able to say I’m coming. When I hung up my tears came crashing down and I’ve always hated crying in front of people but that night it didn’t matter I was just so sad. My fiancé drove us to see my family and grandma before they take her away. It was a sad sight but I felt happy that the whole family was there because we were all trying to comfort and support each other all through the night till they took my grandma away.

The next few days went by fast but long at the same time. There was a lot of preparations that we had to do like going through albums to find pictures of my grandma and me. Finally the day of the viewing came and there was so many people there that talked about their memories that they had with my grandma Nicky. It made me laugh and thought about the good times but it also made me sad because I won’t be able to make any more memories with her. Like having her see me get married and her trying to get a bouquet to add to her collection of family weddings she has gone to.

The next day was Valentine’s Day and it was the day of the funeral. I didn’t want to see my grandma in the coffin because it was like saying goodbye officially for the last time. It was so hard to do, I just broke down while my fiancé and family hugged me to try to comfort me.

On the way to the cemetery I was having flashbacks of when my grandma would make me green jello because it was my favorite and I had flashbacks of when she would sow pillowcases and blankets. I was also thinking about how she would get bothered by my grandpa when he would play Ace Ventura, her reactions was always funny because she didn’t like the movie. I also thought about how much she cared for others. She would write letters to people that were in jail giving them encouragement and so much support when their family and friends abandoned them. She would also visit people in hospitals and if she sees that she hasn’t seen some one in a week or two she would call them to see how they were doing and she would visit them. My grandma was also talented she did spoken word which is poetry but the way she would recite them captures your attention and it would make you feel something. Thinking about all these things while being at the cemetery putting flowers on her coffin made me feel calm because I thought that she lived a good life, she was able to pass away peacefully in her sleep and now she isn’t suffering and she is with God. These gave me peace inside even if there were tears still going down face.

I don’t think I would have been able to handle all of this without the love and support from friends, family, church friends, my loving fiancé and even my co workers and boss. What especially helped was the relaxing music on YouTube that my boyfriend showed me. It was calming and it show nature as well as someone speaking out bible verses. I listened to it every day and I thank the person who made that YouTube video.

If you are someone that is going through a loss and you feel like you don’t have anyone to help you go through this moment in life don’t worry there is always someone who will be there for you and you can use YouTube videos to help you when your by yourself. All you have to do is type Christian bible verses and a bunch come up that deals with strength, peace, promises etc.


Friday’s quote

January 4th, 2019

January 4, 2019

” Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.”

-Malcolm X

New Years resolution

January 2nd, 2019

Last year I made a list of resolutions that I was determined to succeed by the end of the year and I am proud to say that I at least succeeded more then half of that list. I tried new foods like Filipino desserts. I tried new things like painting and going to another country. I took better care of my car, I stick to a schedule for at least 5 months, I had “Me Time” which really helps with stress and I even wrote a post on how beneficial it is 😊

Some things that I didn’t succeed on my list was growing my hair. It grew some but I just get tempted to dye my hair so much. Another thing that I need to work on is getting better with makeup I just don’t wear much makeup so I barely practiced. The last one, which was really one of my main goals, was to weigh 118 pounds. Now I’m sad that I didn’t make it to 118 but I am happy that I lost 25 pounds sooooooo I have made a new resolution and at the top of my list is……

New Year resolution

  • Lose 20 pounds
  • Pass the gkt/state test
  • Pass classes
  • Graduate
  • Work on writing and drawing
  • Stick to a schedule
  • Go to another country
  • Become a teacher

Cake mix Snickerdoodles

December 30th, 2018

This is a really easy recipe and it takes about an hour and a half to make them maybe even a little less. I forgot to time myself, oopsy lol. I made these for my co-workers before winter break started and they loved it. Hope you guys enjoy this recipe 🙂


  • 2 large eggs
  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 box of Betty Crocker yellow cake mix
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1.5 tablespoons of cinnamon


  • Mix the 2 eggs, 1/2 cup vegetable oil, and the box of yellow cake mix
  • Mix it very well then put the dough into the refrigerator for an hour
  • Pre heat the oven to 350
  • Combine the sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl mix well
  • Make 1 inch balls with the dough then coat it with the sugar and cinnamon
  • Place on to non stick cookie sheet
  • press down on them to flatten and then bake for 7min

Fridays quote

December 21st, 2018

December 21, 2018

“A star doesn’t refuse to shine just because there are others in the sky”

-Author unknown

Friday’s Quote

December 7th, 2018

December 7, 2018

“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted.”

– Christine Caine

Easy Pumpkin Pie

November 21st, 2018

I LOVE Pumpkin pie so this year I decided to make it for thanksgiving and I wanted to share the recipe with you guys. I hope you enjoy it 😊

What you need:


Mixing spoon

1 tbsp measurement

Graham crackers pie crust

1 can of 100% pure Pumpkin

Pumpkin pie spice

Thawed out cool whip 8oz

Two 3.4oz vanilla instant pudding & pie filling from JELL-O


Put the 100% pure pumpkin in the bowl along with the cool whip, 1 tbsp pumpkin pie spice, and the two vanilla instant pudding mix. Mix all the ingredients together then pour it into the graham cracker pie crust. Then freeze it for 3hrs and it should be ready to eat. You can also sprinkle a little bit of pumpkin pie spice on top.

When do you start celebrating Christmas?

November 4th, 2018

November is here woo hoo! I love November because of my family’s food on Thanksgiving and it’s closer to Christmas. Now I love Christmas but I notice that in the stores they had Christmas stuff before Halloween even started. To me I like to wait till the day after Thanksgiving and I was just wondering do you guys start to celebrate Christmas starting November first or do you wait until after Thanksgiving or if you are like the stores 2 weeks before Halloween?

Fridays quote

October 12th, 2018

October 12, 2018

“In 6 months time you can either be in the same place or a better place. Focus everyday on improving your Health, Wealth, and Happiness. It will take time but you can make it happen.”

Fridays Quote

September 28th, 2018

“Make your life a masterpiece; imagine no limitations on what you can be, have or do.”

-Brian Tracy

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